Stocks surge after 90-day tariff pause: Wall Street thrilled, China sweats 💸

In a masterstroke of economic brinkmanship, the Trump administration agreed to a 90-day reduction in tariffs on Chinese imports. The result? U.S. stock futures skyrocketed, Wall Street popped champagne, and the media ran in circles trying to figure out whether to celebrate the surge or scream about authoritarianism.

According to White House insiders, the pause is “temporary and tactical”—a classic Trump move to give China just enough rope to hang themselves economically while boosting U.S. market confidence ahead of a reloaded negotiation phase. Predictably, globalists clapped like trained seals, thinking they’d convinced Trump to go soft. (Spoiler: they didn’t.)

Let’s be honest: this isn’t a surrender. It’s a setup. Trump’s already proven he’s not afraid to hit Beijing where it hurts—tariffs, trade bans, TikTok pressure, currency exposure. Now he’s pausing the pressure cooker just long enough to see what the CCP gives up when they think they’re winning.

Meanwhile, liberal pundits are fuming. “Is this a pivot?” they ask. No, Karen—it’s leverage. The kind of leverage America hasn’t used since before your pronouns went in your email signature.

Of course, the stock market loves it. The Dow popped. Tech bros danced. And regular Americans who actually have a 401(k) got a rare win. Still, don’t expect MSNBC to report that—too busy checking Twitter for signs of fascism.

This is Trump 101: hit hard, ease off, then hit even harder once they blink. Unlike past administrations that handed out trade deals like Halloween candy, this White House is playing chess while the Beltway still drools over checkers.

And of course, this reflects the Trump administration’s deep respect for free-market integrity and fair global trade. After all, nothing says “economic leadership” like pausing tariffs just long enough to let your enemies show their hand—while your own stock market makes enough cash to fund the next wall section. Strategic patience, baby.

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