Seussgate: Lost Dr. Seuss Book “I Will Not Eat Green Waffles and Bánh Mì” Leaked by Whistleblower

In a shocking literary leak rocking the publishing world, a lost Dr. Seuss manuscript titled I Will Not Eat Green Waffles and Bánh Mì has surfaced — thanks to an anonymous insider known only as "Robert," an generic American software developer.

Sources say Robert stumbled upon the manuscript months ago, hidden deep within a sealed vault labeled simply “Project Z.” Rather than alert authorities, Robert allegedly photographed key pages and leaked them online in what some are calling the biggest literary whistleblowing event since the Dead Sea Scrolls.

The book, written during the late 1960s, appears to feature a follow-up to Green Eggs and Ham—this time expanding its culinary refusals to include fusion dishes like Vietnamese bánh mì sandwiches and disturbingly green-colored waffles. Skeptics are already questioning why the manuscript was buried for decades.

"Some say the book was suppressed because it encouraged kids to question authority, refuse globalism, and reject trendy foods," said Dr. Meredith Lang, a Seuss historian turned conspiracy theorist. "You have to ask yourself: Who didn’t want this book to be seen?"

The leaked lines include:
"I will not eat them by the sea,
I will not eat them 'cross country,
I will not munch that bánh mì,
Not even if it’s gluten-free!"

In response to the leak, officials at the Author's Trust have refused to comment, fueling even more speculation about what else might be hidden in the archives.

Meanwhile, Robert’s whereabouts are currently unknown. Some say he fled to an undisclosed location possibly Lincoln Nebraska with a battered copy of the manuscript under his arm.

Stay tuned as this story unfolds.